10 Weeks of Winter

Week 3 begins…

Today marks the beginning of the third week of winter for my 10 Weeks of Winter project. This is the point where I either lock in or fall off. Don’t know about you, but for me the third day and the third week of trying to make change is always so hard. There’s no getting around it, it’s difficult every time. I’ve encountered it consistently enough that I am certain the challenges are coming. It’s familiar territory. I’ll start dragging. I’ll procrastinate. I’ll hear a little voice in my head that says “I’m so tired”. The voice is very persuasive, and not exactly wrong, but I’m not that tired. Some part of me beyond my conscious control will get irritated with the whole process and seemingly deliberately engage me in counter-productive activities (like staying up late, which is what I did last night). It’s resistance, and some genuine tiredness after making so many adjustments, but just labeling it resistance doesn’t quite land with me and it also doesn’t really help me get past it or figure out what to do about it.

Understanding the third week slump…

You can do almost anything for one second or one minute. You can do lots of things for one hour and many things for one day. The second minute, hour, or day is tougher, but in the realm of the possible. By the end of the second time, try, or interval you’re really feeling it. You’re in new physical, mental, or emotional territory. You’re starting to notice the effects, and then you come around to the third. The third day or third week of making a change is where the rubber meets the road. It’s your sink or swim moment. Pick you’re preferred cliché, regardless you have to push now. It’s uncomfortable and you don’t like it and you’re not sure if it’s worth it or why you’re doing because it doesn’t feel great like it did at first or like you hoped it would feel. It’s sucks.

When you search online for why the “third is so hard” you’ll find a lot of references to the third day or quitting smoking or the third week of starting a fitness routine. Frankly, the third is painful. Maybe not excruciating pain, but enough that you feel it. I’ve never had to quit smoking, but I made many attempts to quit or reduce drinking alcohol over the years before giving it up completely, and the third day was the most noticeably challenging. Your body starts reacting to the change by the third day, and the body affects the mood. It’s grumpy time, and when you’re in it, it feels like it’s just going to be that way for so long that you can’t see when or where you’ll emerge on the other side. Even if it’s not that bad, you still feel diminished, lacking energy, less vibrant. And you probably undertook the whole endeavor to feel more vibrant and alive and energetically available to do other things!

Third week of a fitness plan, same thing. You started working out or making changes to your nutrition because you wanted to achieve something, be healthy, feel good. You’re three weeks in and how do you feel? Exhausted, hungry, sore, in a battle with cravings. And how are your goals tracking? Mediocre to not at all. The scale’s not moving, your strength plateaus or wanes, all those supplements that are supposed to give you energy just make you feel bloated and full but unsatisfied. Who wouldn’t give up when they hit the third week slump?

Strategies for reaching the other side…

I’ve quit more attempts to make change than I can count. Often I don’t quit deliberately, I just kind of ignore what I was supposed to be doing and resume prior patterns until I don’t notice that I was trying to doing anything different. I’ll run across some old journal from time to time and think, “oh, I remember when I tried to do this.” Worse, I’ll run across multiple journals where I attempted nearly the same thing more than once and lost the plot somewhere around the third day or week. However, I have learned from my failed attempts, as well as from my successful changes. There are signs to look for and techniques to employ that can carry you through the dark tunnel of thirds.

Is the change sustainable? Let’s give ourselves (our bodies, emotions, and minds) some credit. You might be feeling bad and falling off because you’ve demanded too much of yourself. This is not a failing! It’s normal when you step into the unknown to miscalculate. Maybe you didn’t budget enough time because you couldn’t see all ends until you actually did the thing you planned. Maybe you went too hard too fast because you’re ambitious, an excellent and valuable trait, but one that may hinder your progress. Maybe you’re not ready yet. Sometimes we need to do foundational work to prepare ourselves for change, and we don’t realize it until we attempt the change. For example, say you want to hike the Camino de Santiago. You know that people who don’t train for walking long distances or carrying packs while walking have a bad time or have to abandon the experience. You decide you need to train for three months prior to your trip, but when you begin your training you discover that one of your feet, legs, or joints is getting particularly aggravated. You can’t complete your training as planned because the pain and discomfort keeps getting worse and limits your ability to even perform at baseline levels. Well, you may need to build some foundational strength or incorporate balance or stretching exercises into your training OR scrap your training and focus on rehabbing or strengthening your body first before you proceed to train for the Camino.

You don’t have to quit when you assess the change as unstainable, but you do have to modify. Keep your end goal in mind and identify a more supportive, doable, or earlier stage of progression that you think you can actually do. You’re not starting over, you’re adapting. You’re still committing to the change and the habit or behavior, but you’re adjusting it into something that’s truly better for you and that will carry you forward.

Can you endure? Knowing the difference between unsustainable change and the need to suck it up buttercup requires some experimentation and experience. Like it or not, sometimes you have to push through the pain. When you’re quitting a substance or food your body is used to, you will hurt for a while. It will be longer than you’d like, you may feel alone, and ordinary life will be harder because of it. (I wish I didn’t need to say this, but, just in case, please know that I am not a doctor, nor am I making any medical recommendations. Always consult a physician prior to making substantial lifestyle changes. This blog is only an anecdotal writing project containing my personal understanding, knowledge, and experience.) There is another side to the pain, and you can get through it, but treat yourself kindly and appropriately while you recover. I’ve learned that when I give up a habit (even relatively minor ones) I need to treat myself like I’m ill and need rest. This isn’t just a frame or conceptual container. When you change habits or behaviors the pathways in your brain have to adapt, and often your body experiences other physiological changes (like hormonal shifts). You are literally recalibrating. You need rest and support. Do not skip this. Give yourself rest and support on the third day or third week. Rest and support can be the difference between succeeding this time or dropping off and going back to the drawing board only to encounter the drag of thirds the next time you make the attempt. Once you get through the third week it gets better and you enter the territory of lasting change. You can do it!

How can you reinforce the change? The third week, especially, is your greatest opportunity for really locking into the change you’re making. Between assessing what’s sustainable and what can be endured, decide what you’re going to do and follow through. This is the go through the motions week. This is the just do it, trust the process week. Again, you need to DECIDE what you are going to do and then do it. Do not elaborate or add to your processes and protocols. You are going through it, like a train passing into a mountain pass tunnel, you must enter the dark and persist until you come back into the light. Once you’re on the other side options open up to you, but you’re not there yet, you’re in the tunnel, you need to stay consistent and that is all and that is enough.

How can you support change? As mentioned above, rest and support are a must during week three (and day three). This may mean that you go to bed a little earlier, do a little less of other things (if you can), and avoid any other demands on your body, mind, and time. Don’t forget that you’re a little more vulnerable as your physiology adapts. If you’re making a big change, it’s not a bad idea to use a couple days of vacation to allow for the space and rest requirements that you need to get through this time. Naps and non-sleep deep rest (NSDR or Yoga Nidra) are also very helpful to give you the rest that allows your body the chance to recover and adapt. Other supports can vary and are dependent on the change you’re making. Some good supports for consideration are: hydration, rolling (using a roller to roll out muscles), heated things (blankets, baths, etc.), walking, stretching, herbal teas, and motivational or soothing entertainment (books, music, movies, etc.). This list works for almost any type of change I have made. Perhaps I’ll discuss the mechanisms behind some of these supports in another post. I highly recommend them, even if you only use them a little bit you will still benefit from doing them.

10 Weeks of Winter progress update…

At the threshold of the third week of applying my protocols for improving my experience and enjoyment of winter this year I find that I have planned pretty sustainably, but that I could be more regular or consistent in the application of my protocols. Particularly the morning protocols are hit or miss for getting done to schedule. I usually get to all of them, but sort of haphazardly throughout the course of the morning. I believe they will be more effective if I do them at closer to set times or more in sequence. They will also be better optimized into the patterns of my day if I do them in a more regular order at a more regular time. I did allow myself flexibility in following the protocols intentionally. For the first couple weeks. I wanted to see how they fit into my day and how I felt about doing them. I was trying to get the qualitative experience of the new protocols before regimenting them, but it’s time to cement them in. The least sustainable changes for me were writing the blog and not using multiple screens after 10 PM. Writing is taking more time than I anticipated and sometimes I’m writing later into the evening, which impacts my plan to avoid late evening screentime. I don’t know what to say about screentime except that I don’t like not using them. I did get blue blocker glasses last week and have tried them twice. I may have to really baby step (anyone else a fan of What About Bob?) changes to screentime. Based on my assessment of my progress so far, my third week plan is:

Regiment a morning and evening routine of protocols as sequenced schedules:

• Morning routine:
  • 6:40 AM Red Light Therapy and Stretch
  • 6:45 AM Breathing Exercises
  • 7:00 Workout
  • 8:00 Morning Light Viewing
• Evening routine:
  • 9:00 PM Wear Blue Light Blockers
  • 10:15 PM Reduce to One Monitor, Red Light Therapy, and Breathing Exercises (abdominal breathing)

Rest and supports:

• Firm 10:30 PM bed time
• Drink at least 32 oz water per day
• Use at least one heated thing (blanket, bath, etc.) or drink herbal tea each evening

General:

• Schedule time to write blog posts booking at least 30 minutes more time than I think I need
• Walk during morning light viewing OR walk at 2PM depending on scheduling for the day