The giving season…
The month of December has fully locked in with Christmas trees shining out of front facing windows and events stacking up in the calendar. Post-Thanksgiving sales are on their way out, and if you haven’t finished your shopping yet the clock is ticking and I’m right there with you. Sometimes finding that perfect gift for someone special feels really important. You want to make them happy, to know that you love them and thought of them. Sometimes you have a laundry list of celebrations and parties that oblige you to a certain amount of gift giving more for the fun of it than as a demonstration of affection. Most of us run a complicated gamut of managing expectations, meeting our end of a commitment, and genuinely participating in a meaningful exchange.
Add to this the modern era. Times are tight. Insignificant stuff and junk is abundant. The tech world has altered the landscape of what people do and what people want. Everyone has adopted some kind of unique personalized lifestyle that they’re very passionate about and want reflected in what you give to and do for them. …good luck!
Giving and receiving presents contains a lot of emotional context for people as well. If you’ve lived long enough, or happen to be very perceptive, you’ve probably noticed that some people attach whether or not they feel loved to getting presents and often (but not always) such individuals are trying to communicate that they love you by giving you something. Some are more attached to price tags when communicating significance or meaning through gifts. Some desire a community or family experience, a togetherness, and are pleased with any mutual exchange. Others need their receivers to know how much they thought of them. And others still could not care less and wouldn’t mind if everyone scrapped the whole thing. With every passing exchange, I learn something new about how people perceive getting and giving gifts. I have given up on trying to do exactly the right thing by every person. As much as I may want to, I don’t know what’s in another’s heart. I may be able to please them and I may not. In the end, I can only do my best from what feels good and right and wanted to me.
A model for giving…
That last statement could be viewed as though I’m selfishly only pleasing myself, but that’s not what I mean. The best responses I’ve received to gifts given to others has been when I sought to feel inside myself that this gift suits the receiver, it will make them happy or feel loved and appreciated, and it’s a gift that I think is a good thing to spend time or money on and offer to another person. The worst reactions I have received to gifts have taken the form of indifference, or a “what the heck is this garbage” facial expression. Poorly received gifts were usually purchased in haste and without much consideration given to the recipient. And, to be fair, sometimes it’s just a mistake, I thought it was going to go differently that it went. So, what I mean when I say that I do my best to give gifts from what feels good and right and wanted inside of myself is: I’m thinking about the person and what they do, like, and want (i.e., what feels wanted); the gift is something that I think is a good thing to give, do, share, or have in the world (i.e., what feels right); and most subjectively I search myself for a good feeling when I think about giving that particular gift to a particular person (i.e., I feel inside myself for happiness, amusement, love, etc. when I think about a specific person receiving a specific gift).
While I have this pretty reliable mechanism for identifying gifts that I want to give, it’s most useful when encountering gift ideas as I’m running around in my ordinary day-to-day life through the year, but it’s less useful when suddenly I have a list of people to get presents for at the same time and across varying levels of familiarity or types of social functions. At Christmas it’s easy to slip into pressured shopping, which usually results in bulk buying on the cheap. Recently gift cards seem to be the popular approach to appealing across demographics. Who can’t use money to spend on Amazon, at Walmart, or for games and coffee? Gift cards aren’t bad at all, but they’re not special or memorable either.
Gifting constraints…
Gift giving in the Christmas season is a daunting arena, but don’t despair I have a solution for you! In the art world you will encounter the concept of applying constraints to achieve more interesting, elevated, skillful, or creative effects. Constraints in art might take the form of writing a story in only five sentences, drawing a portrait using only dots and no lines (pointillism), writing a song with only two octaves, or cooking a meal with only food produced by a single farm. Constraints narrow and contain your options, so that you have to work within parameters to achieve an outcome. Using constraints people find more focus and often get creative – applying the “what if I tried this” mindset. For this gift giving season I’m applying constraints that derive from my personal values and budget. My constraints are to:
Shop Local – only purchase from local stores and producers; and
Give Homemade Gifts – make gifts with materials (from anywhere) that amount to a maximum of $20 per gift.
Shop local…
Shopping local is a straightforward constraint to apply, and this one does not exclude gift cards as an option. Is there a meat lover on your list? Give them a card to a local butcher, particularly one that specializes in regionally sourced meat. Do you know a yoga fanatic? Get them a gift card to a local studio, even if they don’t use it for classes they could use it for equipment sold at the studio. Other local gifts might be in the food domain like craft beer or chocolate covered whatevers! Have some fun with it, go to your downtown and see what the shops are selling. Make some gift baskets of scarves and soaps and lovely things. Are there local adventure or entertainment venues? Get tickets to a local music group featured at a local pub. Waterparks, zip line adventures, zoos and aquariums, parks, gardens, museums, you name it are possible local businesses that need support and maybe get overlooked as tourist activities, but are conveniently located fun things to do. What about nature lovers or those folks who don’t care too much for things? Get them parking passes, permits, or licenses for hiking, camping, fishing, or hunting as long as you know the details for what they would need. You can also give them your time: a night out to dinner and a movie (or a play or a concert), a group spa day or overnight at a nearby resort, an excursion (like whale watching, river boating, helicopter tours, or even a tour bus). There’s more around you than you know and shopping local provides an opportunity for you to discover local businesses and activities while supporting your local economy and pleasing many, if not all, of your friends and family with a gift that demonstrates care for the community.
Homemade gifts…
Giving homemade gifts, I admit, is tricky. I’ve had good and bad experiences with homemade gifts both on the giving and receiving end. The approach I would apply to homemade gifts is:
- Only give homemade gifts that you would want to receive;
- Give homemade gifts that you are either good at making or are not hard to make; and
- When it doubt, throw it out, and gift the gift card instead.
I’m not an especially skilled crafter, though I dabble. So I will be leaning on the “not hard to make” criteria. When in doubt, I will throw it out, which is to say my ego will not be attached my creations. If it’s not something I’m am sure I would want then I will not be giving.
I have a few ideas I intend to explore for making gifts this Christmas. Recently, I have been into stickers. Is it just me or are there a lot of cool stickers all over the place now? I’ve started buying some but didn’t really know what to do with them. I turned to YouTube for advice and found some interesting ideas that I think could make great gifts (see links below).
Mason jar or spice jar mixes are really beautiful and can stretch out a budget. I have previously given layered seasoning mixes (e.g., pumpkin spice seasoning layered so you can see the creams and oranges and browns of the individual spices) and kept some for myself, which I personally really enjoyed. You’ll have to search for your own type of mixes to make because I have not been able to find one concise resource, and there are so many options. You can look for: soup mixes, rice mixes, oat mixes, brownie mixes, etc. I’ve linked a video that demonstrates the basic concept, but by no means feel limited to this approach, and don’t forget the spice jar alternative option. Since I’ve been developing my own spiced cider recipe I may opt to give out spice jars of my mulling spice mix!
The last one is less generic and more particular to people who might like this sort of thing…that is, plants and garden gifts. I love gardening, and I have things like potting soil and pots all over. It’s simple to create little garden supply or starter gifts for people. For example a simple kitchen herb garden might include three small to medium size pots, a large Ziplock baggie of potting soil, and three packages of seeds (e.g., thyme, chamomile, and oregano). You can dress it up with cute labels or a tray to hold all the pots and act as a saucer. Seed balls is another fun option. It’s a dried, sometimes decorative, ball of seeds that can be set on the ground to sprout up new plants (see link below). At this time of year it would be best to use seeds that are ready to emerge in late March or early April and be sure to instruct the recipient not to put out the seed ball until they’re ready for the plants to start growing. Do you have old potatoes sprouting green growth? Teacup bonsais are a quirky gardening gift you could create. It’s a fun idea for the right person who would appreciate it (see link below). For plant lovers, gardeners, and beginner horticulturalists garden themed homemade gifting options are variable, fun, and full of charm.
Homemade Gift Idea Links
Sticker Collection DIY Projects: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOpW6ioIydY
Mason Jar Homemade Gifts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ej8j4Q5BEDc
Seed Balls: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzZk_BZLioE
Teacup Bonsai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTY_lRRcU9o
I hope you’ve found some inspiration or at least a good constraint to apply to the gift giving season from today’s post. Presents offer a never ending journey of creativity, expression, novelty, and joy. Yet another winter treat that makes this time of year uniquely wonderful.
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